You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
