You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
