i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Boobs are out for the taking
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
