i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
