do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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