Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
