sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
