Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
