Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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