is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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