ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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