Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
