u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I forgot wine drunk hurts
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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