Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
did i just pee glitter
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
