I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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