She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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