please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
