Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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