so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
