Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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