You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
