The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
