You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
