If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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