The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
