I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
