walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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