Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed

(603): View more from New Hampshire

well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes

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(703): View more from Virginia

Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.

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(480): View more from Arizona

They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.

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(573): View more from Missouri

Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.

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