oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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