So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
im about as happy as oj after his trial
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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