You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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