is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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