Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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