So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
