that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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