Plan B is the new Plan A
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
