so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
