I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
