I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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