Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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