Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
