I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
