How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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