she was so not down for the gang bang
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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