Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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