Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
