I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
