Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
