i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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