I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Randomize
