I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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