Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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