You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
